tametheell

I feel like dancing today. Prancing around in a field with some playmates. All of us tougether. I miss Kansas so much. I cried yesterday listening to Who Could Win a Rabbit. This I started watching the Sound of Music. I dont know what it is, but ever since music class in elementary school I've loved watching that movie. The only musical I can stand. Maybe it's because I secretly wish I was a Austrian governess with a pixie cut and flawless vocals. Dunkin Dougnuts' coffee is gud. Real GUD. Going to work and filling out some paper work. I want to start training, right now. I hope it picks up. I'd love a paycheck before I graduate. Did I say that already?

I will admit to lurking over your old accounts. I miss you soo much. I didnt know you had a School Days aswell as me.



Julia was in my room the other day and saw the Frankenstien painting and squeeled with excitment. Later in the car she called me Aunt Coco, I was truely flattered. 

Its never been in my nature to forgive people for their actions, niether do I forget them. I usually accept them or completly ignore them, and I've broken that rule twice recently. I accepted Joe's behavior because I loved him, but my love obviously doesnt bring me his attention or affection. So now my choice is forgetting, something in need tog et back in touch with. I used to be great at completly blocking people out of my life, and it seems more and more I've become a sucker for the everpresent asshole in my life. Fuck your apathy.

please, get me this for graduation.

http://www.bakonvodka.com/

Yesterday Ashley, Julia and I went to to the arboretum. Julia took some great pictures of Ashley that I'll post later. This weekend entails my learning how to drive a five speed, making a stuffed (animal, not taxidermy) fox for a project due on monday, and making use of the dress Sabrien lent me. Previously to this week I was planning on going to prom :( with Megan in her ma's Caddy, however she can't(?) I'm kind of pissed because I thought I would have a million and one ways to arrive for the chocolate fountain, however some unforeseen events have limited me to driving the '88 F150 to and fro. I think I'll buy myself a Thai diner before and buy several Old E's for after. On a similar note, I am sick and fucking tired of smoking this fucking hay for the past week. Enormous quarter, allbymyselfffff. Ewk.

So I actually put some effort into my UNCG assignment this mornin'. And I'm okay with paying 3.75 for Dorals, because it's the week, and I'll need to save for this weekend. I'm glad a check Missbehave e'r'day cuz I always find something that makes me want to dress my cat up, or a squirrel if I had one.

http://bubblegumponys.blogspot.com/


I think I'm going to need some Maxi mads. No.

i had pork tender loin for breakfast. smoked a bowl and ciggarette outside of zoology class.



iluvuhighschul

I  courtney I'll have RAW dye for you when you come back down

Today is my first day back from spring break.  Today is also the twentieth of April, and I am no longer high. By the time I get here I want another cigarette, and by the end of first period I am usually sleeping. I wish I had a car so I could leave during lunch and show back up high again for art. I'm so glad I dont have texting so I dont have to recieve those pointless chain texts wishing me a happy four-twenty. This year like every other at least one person asks me if I'm going to blaze celebrate. Its so hard not to resent these naive kids that have no idea some people do it on the daily without turning into complete fiends everyone certain individuals that dont smoke bud portray us as. I think most people have no fucking clue what I do.

.FIRSTS.
First best friend: Sascha Hoffman
First car: '96 ford taurus that melissa just recently totalled
First screen name: :(
First self purchased album: Fever to Tell
First funeral: Don Cannon
First pets: lots of kittens
First piercing/tattoo: Ears
First musician you remember hearing in your house: probably the Eagles, my mom used to play their tunes on the piano

.LASTS.
Last car ride: schoolbusride
Last kiss: Joe
Last good cry: yesterday in the bathroom
Last library book checked out: Greek Mythology
Last movie seen: Moonstruck
Last beverage drank: milk in my cereal
Last food consumed: dry cereal
Last crush: Joe/Frankie
Last phone call: doctor's
Last time showered: two hours ago
Last shoes worn: fleamarket keds
Last cd played: houses of the holy, for melissa friday night
Last item bought: 12 pack o' Steel Reserve, two sparks and two packs of No.9
Last annoyance: bloody urine
Last disappointment: myself and these online classes
Last time wanting to die: Saturday 2:15 pm
Last time scolded: twice today
Last shirt worn: big kahuna
Last website visited: missbehavemag.com
Last word you said: thanks
Last song you sang: wawawa
What color socks are you wearing? black
What color of underwear are you wearing? blue
What time did you wake up today? 5:45

FUTURE
Where do you want to go? greensboro
What is your career going to be? natural science
Where are you going to live? in secret
How many kids do you want? enough to do the plowing
What kind of car(s): no airbags and horrible gas milage with crushed velvet interior

CURRENT
Current mood: hungery
Current music: sung tongs
Current taste: sweet
Current hair: flat
Current clothes: jeans and shirt
Current annoyance(s): bad circulation
Current desktop picture: Skool dunt futobukit

Current book: Online classes
Current color of toenails: chipped red

(x) - you've done

(X) kissed a member of the opposite sex
( X) kissed a member of the same sex
( ) crashed a friend's car
( ) been to Japan
() ridden in a taxi
( ) been fired
(X ) been in a fist fight
( X) snuck out of my parent's house
(X) ever had a crush on someone of the same sex
(X) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
( ) been arrested
( ) made out with a stranger
(X) stole something from my job
( ) celebrated new years in time square
( ) gone on a blind date
(X) had a crush on a teacher
( ) celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans
( ) been to Europe
(X) skipped school
( ) cut myself on purpose
( ) been married
( ) gotten divorced
( ) had children
( ) seen someone die.
( ) been to Africa.
(X) Punched a friend
( ) Driven over 400 miles to attend a show/festival
( X) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
( X) Been on a plane
( ) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
( ) Thrown up in a bar
( ) Purposely set a part of myself on fire
(X) Eaten Sushi
(X ) Been snowboarding
(XXXXXXXXXXX) Met someone in person from the internet
( ) Been moshing at a concert
( ) had real feelings for someone you knew only online
(X) been in an abusive relationship
( X) been pregnant or got someone pregnant
(? ) lost a child
(X) gone to college
( ) graduated college, community
( ) tried killing yourself
(X) taken painkillers
(X) love someone or miss someone right now

UNIQUE --
1. Nervous Habits? rubbing my ears, chewing skin of of the side of my thumbs
2. Are you double jointed? no
3. Can you roll your tongue? nhnnn
4. Can you raise one eyebrow at a time? my left
5. Can you blow spit bubbles? yes
6. Can you cross your eyes? yes
7. Tattoos? none
8. Piercings and where? ears
9. Do you make your bed daily? no

-- CLOTHES --
10. Which shoe goes on first? whichever
11. Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone? im sure i ahve before
12. On the average, how much money do you carry in your wallet? quantities under 20
13. What jewelry do you wear 24/7? one bracklet
14. Favorite piece of clothing? anything courtney ever gave me, and some new dresses
-- FOOD --
15. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? twirl
16. Have you ever eaten Spam? ew
17. Favorite ice cream flavor? purple marble feces
18. How many cereals in your cabinet? 5
19. What's your favourite beverage? juice
20. What's your favorite restaurant? China Garden, all you can eat sushi, yes please
21. Do you cook? yes

-- GROOMING --
22. How often do you brush your teeth? once a day
23. Hair drying method? none
24. Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair? yes

-- MANNERS --
25. Do you swear? always
26. Do you ever spit? sometimes


-- WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE --
27. Animal? all
28. Food? sashimi
29. Month? june
30. Day? days i see friends
31. Favorite Cartoon Character? meatwad
32. Shoe Brand? hookworms are nice
33. Subject in school? art
34. Color? many tougether
35. Sport? mus wrestling
36. TV show? many i shouldnt name

ABOUT & AROUND --

41. The CD player? i share on with my sister
42. Person you talk most on the phone with? Joe
43. Ever taken a cab? never have
44. Do you regularly check yourself out in store windows and mirrors? sometimes, if i feel that im worth looking at
45. What color is your bedroom? cream
46. Do you use an alarm clock? on my phone
47. Window seat or aisle? either
-- LA LA LAND --
48. What's your sleeping position? all over
49. Even in hot weather do you use a blanket? thin blankets
50. Do you snore? i drool
51. Do you sleepwalk? once
52. Do you talk in your sleep? sometimes
53. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? two
54. How about with the light on? i like it really dark
55. Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on? i can sometimes, but usually, no

I always seem to have an overbearing feeling in my life, and right now its my dated
unemployment. Its not that i nessicarily feel that im a bum. I just i know i could be enjoying so many other things right now. Is is shitty that i feel like money should fuel my social life?  i could leave my house and go to the craft store and make christmas presents. my lists are listless, and i feel like a two year old laying around eating and sleeping. its raining like a bitch and im a 10 minute car ride to anywhere remotely interesting. and now that im bored with sitting in this spot, im going to go sit in another spot, like the stoop in my garage for a ciggarette, then my bed for a nap, then the mushroom chair and attempt at making something clever with my unused energy. i should probably maintain this a little better

i probably should:

wash my car
sell my car
not blow my whole paycheck in one weekend
not smoke ciggarettes until this cold is through
do my school work
do my bigass project 
use my fabric
sew something
clean something
paint
bathe
make my lunch for school tomorrow





muchmuch other shit i should be doing right now rather than sitting and hurting my back yacking on a site i lonly use every few months. i really need to do something about my car soon though. im pouring soooo much money in gas it's stupid.
came home from school today and did absolutly NOTHING!! didnt see eric, and when i did have plans i forgot that everyone in hky is a flake and is afraid of people thinking that they give a shit about eachother and eachother's plans (including me). i want to move already. i want to move in with eric and have a nice job. i feel really hung down in hky. reallly fucking restricted to a small group of people. 



im supposed to have a three weeks project turned in by this week sometime. im not sure. i give a fuck, and i dont want to do bad. im just tired of communicating. im tired of dealing with things.. stupid fucking school. are you kidding me? school isnt as bad when yu have friends and everyone gets on your last nerve. i want to move. i am going to get out of hickory soo fucking fast. fuck my job, fuck my school, my this house, fuck my family. i want to get away so bad. im tired of being so dependent on other shit. i work so i get money, i spend that money of owthless shit. then two weeks later i do the same shit over and over.whatever. im done for now





wew